I’ve been procrastinating cleaning up my old room which has all the stuff in it that we had no place to put when we moved in my parents. I really should do it, it’s a mess. I feel so lazy these days and I’m not sure if I’m depressed or just out of energy from everything I’ve been through recently. We’ll be starting the whole court process soon to get the house in my name and it’s scary because i don’t really know what to expect. I need to talk to my lawyer more about it so I’m prepared for it.

My ma’s birthday was on the 27 and my dad’s is coming up on the 31st so this is a hard time for me right now, especially being in my childhood home where they are everywhere i look. I got so disturbed by sleeping in my mothers room that i wasn’t sleeping at all so we had to move our bedroom to the family room so i could sleep. It’s been rocky and by that i mean emotionally. I just started to read again and it helps… but like i said i just have been putting off moving the rest of the things around because i guess i just don’t want to face putting away or moving any more of my parents things. I know i have to make this my home, it’s just a catch 22 with me right now.

Other than that it’s been OK. I caught a little cold and had a few days where i was hurting really bad but I’ve also had some better days. We went last weekend out to my favorite park to take some photos and we recently seen The Lovely Bones. I plan to check the movies and see what else is out because I’m getting cabin fever so maybe tomorrow we’ll go see another movie. Well for now i have to go, i really do need to sweep the downstairs and dust. Have a great weekend!

Note: I posted a new review for Far From Home by Anne Degrace

I have my good and bad days, but it’s getting better slowly but surely. We’re moved into my parents house which is why i haven’t posted anything. It’s been up and down for me, i feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster. The other day the plumbing went on the fritz and we ended up having to pay out $300 to get it fixed.. turns out someone flushed a bunch of Walmart bags tied together in knots (it was one tied to the other then another tied to that etc until there was a long line of bags). The plumber said it looked very recent and asked if there was anyone in my family that’s very vindictive and jealous because i got the house… i really can only think of one person… if they did it then that’s just really really low.

In the process of having to fix the plumbing, the plumber needed my dad’s bed took down and moved. That was extremely hard because that was the very last place he was before he went into the hospital. I’ve been moving things around in here, but his room is just something i was not ready to touch but i had no choice. It was either take down and move his bed or not fix the plumbing. I didn’t put his bed back up either because i know if i do I’ll just be holding on when there’s nothing left to hold on to.. I don’t know if that makes any sense but i just don’t want to be in the position where the house becomes cluttered because I’m scared to move or get rid of my parents stuff. I have to make this my home or it will just be a painful daily reminder that my parents are gone every time i look around. It’s hard but like i said I’m taking this one step at a time.